Is it time for quits?

Both the femme and the stud are dumb asses!

You have got to be fucking kidding me. So the last time they seen each other was Monday February16, 2009 and they had an argument that day. It was the day that the stud called herself breaking up with the femme. AGAIN! I'm going to inform the people as to why she attempted this bullshit, backout.

The femme had plans for valentines day in advance, but but the studs auntie asked her to house sit. Yeah. So, the femme said sure , thats money they'd save on getting a room no problem.

Now on vday they made plans to meet at the bart station (like the subway in new york). The femme gets there after an hour drive and after an hour of wasting time bcause the stud wasnt ready to head to the station. The stud tells her that she is waiting on the next train to come. Now from where the stud was, it should have only taken her about 30 minutes, but an hour goes by. The femme calls, she texts and gets NO FUCKING RESPONSE. An hour and fifteen passes and the stud finally calls and tells the femme, that she is walking to the bart station now. Wow! The femme starts shouting," Are you fucking serious? I been waiting in the rain for an hour and you have the nerve to tell me you are not even on a train. Six fucking trains had passed and you didnt even have the desency to call or text to let me know?" Wow. But the stud sais she was on her way now, the femme let it go.

Hmmm. Hmmm. Waiting, waiting, and another hour roles around. Again the stud is not answering the phone or texting. The femme walks up and through the station to make sure that the stud isnt just waiting. But she doesnt see the stud.

The femme is approached by SEVERAL people who ask her why is whoever she is dating not with her? It makes her think the same thing. She has waited over an hour with no word from the stud. She thinks, "Why am I standing here looking like a sick puppy, for someone who hasnt even called to say they would be late?"

Now while she was standing there she tries to calm herself down. "What if the stud is trying to surprise the femme with a gift, and it is taking the stud longer than expected to get it?" She cools off. But as the next train passes and she sees that the stud aint on it, she boils again.

*****Oh, sidebar people, the femmes phone was off so she had to ask her ride mother to wait with her so that she could use there phone to keep in touch with the stud.*****

So yes if her ride wouldve left, that wouldve been 2 hours and 20 minutes that she stood in the rain in heels, with two bags waiting for the stud. Finally on her last walk through the station she sees the stud. The stud walking up empty handed, so really there was no reason for her to be late and not have called. The femme says nothing, turns and begin walking back to the car.

By this time she has changed into tennis shoes. What a black woman huh? lol. They get in the car, while in the car the studs phone rings she answers and says to who ever that her battery is dying she will text them and call them later. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!! The femme couldnt even get that treatment, and I thought the femme was the girlfriend. That was vday.

Vday weekend they pretty much fucked and argued. The monday they seperated on the femmes way home she was mad. Mad that her ride had been late, so she borrowed the phone and sent texts out to a few people. To the stud and her two bff's. One bff was at work, the other's phone disconnected. So the only person to text was the stud. No harm in that right? Wrong!!!

The femme asked the stud if they could meet up that following day. Why? Well because the femme had to come back to bring her mother the city the following day. And the femme would have no where to be, while her mother ran her errands. Now some would ask, well why doesnt the femme just stay with her mother during the errands. Well thats because her mother doesn't like people with her when she runs her errands.

Shockingly to the femme, the stud asks her for what? As in why does the femme want to see her. Of course the femme responds, "didnt know I needed a reason." 5 minutes pass and the text is still unanswered. The femme texts the stud a second message and says," guess thats a no." The stud says sure they can meet up, and continues on to ask, "is there anything else?"

Almost pissed the femme responds, "do I need a reason to text my own gf?" Wow. The stud says that she just wanted to know what what else the femme wanted. Ha! The femme was pissed now almost crying. She immediately texts back, "What I want is more than a sometimey gf! Someone who actually gives a fuck about me!" The stud snaps, and sends a text saying, "Fuck you, I am tired of you acting like I am not good enough for you. How bout this, you not good enogh for me, you werent then and you arent now. Its over, I'm not feeling you!" With a smile on her face but almost hurt, the femme replies, "oh shut up aint nobody breaking up with nobody."

Angered texts keep coming from the studs way. The femme tells the stud, that she is not breaking up with her. The femme feels that; for one her gf has no reason to be mad, two the femme thinks the stud wants to break up because the stud is hurt by what the femme said regarding a sometimey gf, and three because it is not gonna be done through a text message.

The femme tells the stud all of these reasons. The next day they talk and the stud still thinks they should break up. The femme replies, "I have put in too much work for us to just break up. But if you want to then lets meet like adults and you can say it to my face."

The stud agrees, but she is not too fond of the idea. Because the femme has thrown punches in previous HEATED arguments. Valid reason, of course. They continue to talk and restates her feelings to the stud. She honestly feels they are meant to be. The femme recalls the weekend, and recalls that all weekend she had made several comments, that would make the stud uneasy. No accusations, or anything regarding cheating, but still some unnerving comments.

The femme apologizes. The femme takes the blame for the arguments that occured during the weekend, and justifies her reason for wanting to see the stud, the following day. No more breaking up conversation has occured.

Now I want feedback. Anything, everything. What are your thoughts on this story?

Why I am the way I am Pt. 1 "virginity

So todays topic is: "The relationships that made me, me!"

Subtopic: Losing my virginity...

To start, I have always been a sexually curious female. I remember being as young as ten or eleven and watching the late night soft porn on Showtime. Watching these extreme dramatizations of the real thing is probably what made my first time so disappointing.

I was fifteen at the time. I met this guy online, he was nineteen, and yes he was experienced. We weren't in a relationship, hell I didn't even love him, barely liked him. Our "relationship" was late night phone calls, with me attempting to masturbate when, I didn't even know what it was supposed to feel like. I knew what it was like for my hormones to rage, and what made my cookies wet, but attempting to be more mature for my age I did whatever he asked me to do. So eventually I guess he got fed up with listening to the little girl pretend on the phone so he asked me, "When can I get in that?" I told him I didn't know. Not because I was flirting but because I actually didn't know. Was I ready? No. But I wasn't not ready either. Virginity was always so overrated to me anyway. Why does it have to be your first love, your high school sweetheart, and I KNEW I wasn't waiting until marriage. Looking back now, maybe if I had have opted to wait until it was one of those I would've enjoyed it. Well, still not the marriage part. But, back to topic.

I had been babysitting my moms' coworkers son every now and then so I decided, maybe I could sneak him over when the boy was asleep. That's how they did it in the movies, it couldn't hurt anyone. The day I went over to babysit, I had it all planned. Well not really, honestly everything was done in the moment. Anyway the little boy wasn't asleep. Shit! Fuck! Damn! I gave him some hot dogs, put him in his mothers room and turned on a movie.

Bam first obstacle taken care of. By this time my first had just arrived. He knocks on the door and I am so nervous that I hide behind it holding it open, like an idiot. We sat on the couch me blushing for no reason, and then he told me to take my pants off. Wow! All I remember thinking was, "Did I put lotion on today?" I did. I pulled my pants off, and he started to rub his finger on my clit. It felt so weird, like ugh. It didn't feel good or bad, I just didn't see the point. I guess he figured out that I wasn't to excited by this activity so he moved on and told me to go sit on thee "big couch". Damn he was country.

As I did this I could hear him do that tired ass attempt to smell his finger. I wanted to slap him and say, "MY PUSSY IS CLEAN YOU ASSHOLE!!!" But hey better safe than sorry I suppose. He came over and got onhis knees infront of me. "Oh my! I'm about to get ate out?" This is the thing that so many of my friends, aunts, elders have talked about the ULTIMATE orgasm. Yeah I was excited. But He stuck his tongue out a wiggled it rapidly on my clit. What the fuck? I thought to myself, this is what they talked about? It couldnt be. But he applied a little pressure and for a split second it was actually pleasurable. I say split second because that's exactly how long it lasted. It's like as soon as he sensed I enjoyed it, he stopped. I sat straight faced. Pissed. Irritated, ready to call it quits. But I wasn't putting myself up for the grounding and ass-whooping of a lifetime for some pointless fingering, and a unsatisfying sample of head. He told me to get on the floor. No pallet, no mattress, just carpet then me bare-assed. He got on top. And that Saturday November 16, 2002 at approximately nine o' three p.m. est. it began.

He slid in, it barely moved me. He thrust, he pumped, he rammed, all to no satisfaction of mine. I was a virgin, why didn't it hurt? Why aint I bleeding? Do I not have a cherry to be popped? Eight prolonged minutes later he came. The top of my head hurt from him pushing me into the couch. I had been wishing the whole time that somehow I would just slide under there, and escape this bullshit. He got up went to the bathroom. Then he came back and sat on the couch. I handed him the house phone, "You can call your ride now" I said. Not with an attitude but still firm enough so he knew I wasn't joking. He left, and I went to the bathroom to try and figure out what the hell had just happened. And as if it couldn't get any worse, the condom was floating, in the damn toilet.

That was the end of that. He tried to meet up with me again, on another one of my babysitting jobs, but I definately denied him that pleasure. He spared nothing when he told me how last time was my first time, and this time I was gonna enjoy it, because now I knew what it felt like. Yeah the fuck right! We chatted some after that on the phone only, but that quickly ended when in that following month, I found out that the entire time I was talking to him, he had been talking to my cousin. Everytime I went to school, she would either call him or he would call her. He even told me when she came over his house, described her outfit to the tee, EVEN THE FUCKING CAR SHE WAS DRIVING. But whatever, that was the first relationship...