thinking outloud
So which one is it? Is it that when you love someone you let them go? Or is it that when you love someone you fight for them? This is my situation. For a period of time I had adapted to the needs of her because that was my fight. I kept getting to the point where I thought maybe I shouldn't, but I never left. Maybe I was too scared.
I know that I cant stay mad at a person for too long. I know that in relationships I always try to see the good in that person. My problem I would say is that I ave a lady and the tramp complex. I want a somewhat carefree selfish person to "magically" change their lives for me. to somehow find a sweet core to a hard shell. Someone who would love me so much that they'd let me in, where they have blocked all others out. What is my problem?
Why do I feel that someone wants me based on what they are willing to give up or change about themselves. Probably because, when I am in love that person, is worth me changing, so I expect the same. I love myself, so it's not a self esteem issue, but thats how I have always felt. With the next relationship I get, I want to meet somone who needs no life change. Basically someone who is all together emotionally and mentally.
Not someone who I have to ask the who, what, where, when, why, and how. Someone who can talk to me. Someone who automatically does this I guess I need a very verbal partner. I need to do the cliche, and take time to see what I want. Why I want it. And if it is the best for me. I'd hate to have to literally write it all down, bit for bit, but maybe thats the step I need to take.
I do know now that communication is the MOST important thing in a relationship with someone like me. Ans not that we just tralk but that we communicate WELL to each other. About anything. But yet as I realize this, I cant lie to myself. The heart wants what the heart wants, why is it that the brain and the heart can never be on the same page?
It's never this hard in the beginning of a relationship. Maybe its not about the brain and the heart being in agreement. Maybe you sould just remove yourself when the first sign of the two seperating occurs. With this eye opener what am I going to do?
Let it go? Let her go? Understand that it is her loss not mine? No one knows what the future holds. Maybe things will progress for us together, maybe seperate. But it is what it is, and shit definately happens for a reason.
I believe that you fight for them until you feel that the fight is pointless. When you are tired of not making progress (or if you do make progress it is only a short time before you are back to the previous checkpoint), that is when you let them go. And if it IS indeed true love, they will come back because they will realize that you two are made for each other. However, there is no time limit to say that if they don't come back in so many days, months, etc.... they didn't really love you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be invited into your loves "secret garden" of thoughts. In fact, you should be the one person that they confide if no one else. I personally feel like it is a complex to know in detail what your partner wants and expects from you and you don't want to change, leave, or compromise. It's called selfish ignorance. You are right... things happen for a reason... for you to better understand what you want in life so you can spend more time making YOU happy and live a llittle more stress free.
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